Toilets are off

Cool, overcast (low 30s)

Once all the water in camp is off, a tiny part of my job changes: I pee in the woods. I have Slanty to use while I’m not working, but when I’m well away from my little house, I do what anyone else would do, and choose a nice, scenic spot. Having done this for a few years, I know where the nice river views are, and so today, when nature called, I made a beeline for a nice spot behind an ugly building.

While I was peeing, I noticed a little carrot round lying in a pile of leaves a few feet away. It was kind of pretty, actually, this bright little circular root vegetable, contrasted with the decaying leaves. And then I noticed, between the carrot and me, a huge pile of human feces.

I was kind of dumbfounded. My first sense of indignation was at myself—how could you not notice a pile of poop almost right under your own feet? And my second twinge of indignation was toward the excreter, who, oh, I don’t know, maybe could have buried it? And my third indignation was toward the carrot, which somehow made the excrement even grosser.

And then what to do? Should I hop away in the middle of peeing? Should I stop peeing, and move, and start again? I’ve heard that’s bad for your bladder. And seriously, it’s not going to jump off the ground and bite, is it? So I sighed, looked at the river, and kept peeing.